LOVE AFFAIR LOVE
~ Whether Love or Lust ~
BOTH CAN BE ON FIRE
have two Relationship Counselors that give out my WebSite to their Clients in their Group Sessions.........
Even though both of these people, Maddie and James are Professionals at what they do (Relationsul Counseling) ~ they like my WebSite because they say I have a fresh 'NON-PROFESSIONAL' view point on the subject LOVE...
They suggested I add this section ~ I'm still Tweaking ~
~ I'M OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS, ADDITIONS AND COMMENTS....
Hello Friends ~ this is an intersting subject: LOVE AFFAIR LOVE OR LUST
Love is the foundation of families and stable societies ~ true of false?
In my opinion (and remmeber I'm not an expert on Love, on the contrary I'm a dreamer that believes in LOVE ~ ROMANCE AND ALL THAT GOES ALONG WITH THAT)........
LOVE is everywhere and not necessarily in JUST a Marriage or COMITTED RELATIONSHIP ~
But I do believe that if you are in a marriage you should not stray, and if your marriage is going through tough times you should:
- Talk to your partner
- Go to Counseling
- Do some soul-searching
- Separate for a period of time
- Find out what's wrong............so on and so on
If you have done
all of this and more ........than maybe DIVORSE is on the Horizon??
This is a big step to take ~ so think carefully.
Maybe you have children, remember this affects everyone in your family.
SO MAYBE A SEPARATION IS WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN????
Love Affairs happen a lot to men and women who are in a committed marriage.......
Why: Because Marriages become stale and not exciting anymore...life becomes busy, work,
home, children and so on an do on.
It's hard to be in a marriage for a long time and keep it exciting, loving and sexual.............YES I SAID SEXUAL. A lot of times SEX is what is missing in a marriage and therefore partners stray and find someone they think
is exciting and they start a LOVE AFFAIR. And of course LOVE AFFAIR implies SEX.
But remember if you enter into a LOVE AFFAIR Liasion outside of your marriage you are possibly going to end UP hurting many, many people that you love, wife/husband, children, etc.
SO TAKE HEED AND THINK BEFORE YOU ACT.............
Love affairs are as addictive as alcohol or drugs due to the good feelings they illicit in the cheater. That “in love” feeling gives the cheater a sort of chemical high. He/she will continue the affair until the relationship is exposed to the realities of day to day life.
Below are a few characteristics of a love affair.
They feel as if they can’t live without each other in spite of the fact they live the majority of their life away from each other.
- A fear they will fall apart emotionally if they have to remove themselves from the affair.
feelings of anxiety, worry or jealousy of the affair partner.
- A need for the affair partner to meet all their expectations.
- The belief that the affair partner will change themselves to meet the other person’s needs.
- A need for the affair partner to be accessible at all times, regardless of the fact that they are able rarely see each other.
- A deep dependence on the affair partner to “make” them feel loved.
- An inability to find comfort when they are not with the affair partner.
~Fascination and infatuation is at the root of most love affairs~
Now let's talk about the comparison of:
LOVE AFFAIR LOVE VERSUS LUST????
What is the definition and signs of LUST:
SIGNS OF LUST
- You're totally focused on a person's looks and body.
- You're interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.
rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
- You want to leave soon after sex rather
than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.
- You are lovers, but not friends.
A large physical attraction for an individual, that is sometimes uncontrollable and completely unreasonable..............Often confused with love.
Lust is not love if you don't wish for anything other than having sex with someone.
~ QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ~
is the relationship between love and lust and do we often confuse the two?
A: There are different
emotional and physiological components to both love and lust. Romantic attraction and feelings of love for someone elevates our more long-term phase dopamine and serotonin levels, which causes feelings of elation and loss of appetite. When we get to the point of feeling
attachment and a feeling of love, our bodies generate more oxytocin (known as the "hormone of love").
sex drive and an appetite for sex can visit during this process and is generated by increased testosterone levels in both men and women. Heightened levels of testosterone inspire a feeling of focused attention and sexual arousal.
Q: Is infidelity a natural phenomenon?
A: We definitely have the circuitry to be adulterous. There are Darwinian reasons why cheating has evolved. If a man has two children with one woman and more children with another, more
of his DNA will be present in the next generation, which includes the genes associated with adultery! It perpetuates itself.
Q: Who are more adulterous, men or women?
25 percent of men and 15 percent of women will be adulterous during marriage.
What is the definition and
signs of LOVE:
SIGNS OF LOVE
- You want to spend quality time together other than sex.
- You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.
want to honestly listen to each other's feelings, make each other happy.
- He or she motivates you to be a better person.
- You want to get to meet his or her family and friends.
Poets and authors have tried
to define love for centuries, whereas scientists have only recently started. Many of us know intuitively that love is a major purpose for living; that connection is inherent in all that we do, and without love, we cannot survive as a species.
Love is an intense feeling of affection and care towards another person. It is a profound and caring attraction.
On the other hand, lust is a strong desire of a sexual nature.
Lust is a physical emotion that
we act upon in the "heat of the moment." Yet few among us would fall in love with someone who didn't turn us on, and that can lead to problems when one or both of you gets mixed up about the difference between love and lust.
CAN YOU HAVE LOVE
-- If you only want to be with this person to have sex, it's lust.
If you try to describe your date to a friend and can only talk about physical appearance and body parts, that's lust.
If you don't call or converse with this person except when you want physical pleasure,that's lust.
-- If you
lie to someone in order to get into bed with him or her, that's lust.
-- And, naturally, if your partner does
any of these things to you that's lust too.
It's possible for an affair based purely on lust to develop into a healthy
relationship based on love? YES ~ but it doesn't happen all that often. You may be better off spending your time with someone who sees and appreciates you with your clothes on.
Whether you Choose:
Love Affair Love or Lust
"FOLLOW YOUR HEART"
Follow your heart wherever it takes you,
and be Happy
Life is brief and very fragile
only loaned to us
Wake up every morning
with the thought
that something wonderful
about to happen.
~ PLEASE NOTE THAT I'M NOT ADVOCATING ANYONE HAVE AN AFFAIR/FOR LOVE OR LUST......
BEING HAPPY IS VERY IMPORTANT ~ NO MATTER WHAT YOU CHOOSE AS LONG AS NO-ONE GETS HURT ~
Whatever kind of love you have for another person..
Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame
~ I STILL LOVE YOU ~